Uncle Su’s Got Some.

1. I’m surrounded by republicans who are obnoxious, have limited creativity, no regard for the environment, elitist to some degree, definitely homophobic, racist, have limited knowledge of their original heritage, and are sadly boring pricks. And I’m in one of the most liberal cities in the States. Go figure.
2. I don’t have any motivational role-model here at all. Refer to #1.
3. I want to do rock climbing, kayaking, nature photography. They want to shop at outlet stores, have dessert at posh restaurants, watch movies in broad daylight (or at the comfort of their entertainment system), and take narcissistic photos.
4. Because nobody here enjoy my company anymore. Most of them think I’m not the team-player material.
5. Seattle rain can be romantic at appropriate moods, but most of it just depresses the crack out of everyone. Especially depression-prone types like me.
6. Because I’ll only be around people who look just like me, speaks my native language and as conservative as my grandparents.
7. A bit of Michigan chill might build my character.
8. Friends here seem to go faster than they come.
9. Friends here seem to be no where when the going gets tough.

Remind me again why I’m so bent on leaving Seattle?

I’m blogging from my hotel in Ann Arbor, MI.

I’ve been traveling and taking lots of pictures for the past week. I met up with my sister (haven’t seen for for too long) and cousins, and had a lot of fun visiting Alcatraz with CD, and six flags Vallejo with Nita’s friends. Nothing more I can asked for from a vacation. The craziest was last Sunday when we had to travel 8 hours in a Greyhound bus from San Francisco to Los Angeles. The bus was full, the restroom was disgusting and the floor was sticky from spilled soda. The was barely any leg room what with my camera bag placed between my legs. But hey, that’s what you get with budget travel.

We arrived in LA at 4pm, waited for my long lost friend Diandra for an hour, had an awesome dinner, and then Diandra have us a lift to the airport. We flew that very night and arrived in Michigan the next morning.

Meeting up with Diandra was surreal. She looked really great (comparing from her tomboy-ish look 3 years ago), and she drove a CLK despite telling me that she’s broke and rive around a broken Honda. But yes, meeting her for the first time in 2 years was really great. It made we realize that hey, we’re adults now! Grow up! Although we spent most of dinner teasing each other (and not much of anything else) I know that there was so much to catch up on but time was just not in our favor. Hope I can meet her in Indonesia this time.

That aside, Ann Arbor has been treating me well. The bus service is great, people are hospitable and just as approachable as the Seattlites, the campus beautiful, and the computer labs large and bright. I’ll be taking a campus tour tomorrow, I’m very excited about that. I don’t know anyone here, but getting around and finding the hangout spots have been easy. For the past days I’ve been putting addresses into my google myMaps, most of them are prospective housing for myself.

I’ve got junks to sell in Seattle, a deadline for department application in UW (that I don’t have the heart to do anymore), and I’ve a house to find. I’m in a dilemma to choose from 2 places and honestly as of now I’m just not sure. I have decisions to make.

There is really a fine, blurred line dividing between hobby and obsession.

I started the day rugged and tired. And I was pushed to finish researching for one of my presentation. It did not go well, and I made a big fool of myself. No, not that I cared.

I could only think that hey, I don’t have anything important to attend to after the presentation’s over. Maybe I can go get some sleep. Or a nice meal. Or maybe I can ditch everything and run to U-District with my camera.

I ended up taking photos from 6pm to 9pm straight. Denise took 795 photos today. I was so engrossed on getting to UW that I forgot to bring the books I owe their library, the tripod for night shots, and the iPod I just charged. Instead I was at UW with a sling bag carrying my lenses and extra battery, and I was wearing a jacket still stained with egg yolks from the last episode of “Egg Wars”.

I tried peeling the yolks off my jacket, but I thought “Oh no I did’nnt just touched dried egg yolks with my bare hands! And then touch Denise with it, EW!” so I went to the other side of the campus looking for a restroom. ALL BECAUSE DENISE CANNOT BE DIRTY!

I roamed the whole campus, shooting everything from UW’s Baroque buildings, skaters, little kids, graduating seniors, dogs, George Washington statue, pretty college girls, exchange students, and a very friendly BMX bike punk.  I even shot UW’s patrolling police.

By the time it got dark, I was still walking down a U-District road with my camera. I had mud on my jeans and grass on my shirt. My shoelaces were untied. My throat was dry. But I was shooting away.

When I reached Thai 65 restaurant, I was overcome with fatigue. I gulped down glass after glass of water, and my hands were so cold and weak that I couldn’t even lift the chopsticks. But inside I felt special like never better. The solitude, the concentration, the effort I put into each shutter release… They ignite sparks of wonder within my inner child. Passion so familiar yet distant, like memories I had before but couldn’t be sure of.

Before today I was gloomy, irritable and downright lazy. I was dragging my feet around, reluctant of finishing assignments, putting every single responsibility to the last second of the deadline. Now what I had just now was just magic! I spent 3 hours taking pictures and I can sleep happy now!

I don’t need my parents’ approval or my friends’ support and motivation. I’m feeding off my own passion for this new-found happy place of mine, a place where Denise and I are one.

I think I’ve just found love again.

PS: Denise is what I named my trusty and luscious Nikon D70s dSLR camera.

I have just received the news I have been waiting for. Its April 30 and UC Berkeley indeed has an answer for me. My application has been declined. They claimed that the acceptance rate this year is 29%, with 7% for business school and 23% for the college of engineering. Now now, I have expected that from them, and frankly I am not the least bothered, so friends please keep your consolations to yourselves. =) Its only sensible that I reflect on what I have learned from all this madness on school application. Maybe I can share a tip or two for my sister.

Procrastinating killed me.
I could have provided more information, wrote a better personal statement and met more deadlines if I have had planned my time properly. Most of my application are submitted towards the last days of the application process, and many documents were sent on the last minute. I was so desperate at times that I sent through express delivery. Lesson learned: Do not procrastinate, plan my time properly and do what matters first.

All it takes is desire to apply.
Back at square one, everyone is equal. When it comes to applying to schools (and everything else you want from life) is the guts to go for it and the commitment in following it through. The guts to apply to the school and THE COMMITMENT IN FULFILLING ALL THE REQUIREMENTS.

I could have applied to more schools. My dream school was CalTech but I backed out on the last minute because their track record of 36 transfer students accepted in 5 years intimated me and because I couldn’t commit to their requirement of 3 letters of recommendation, a personal statement and 2 standardized test spanning over 7 hours. CalTech has a high reputation for its engineering departments, a small but engaging environment and a rigorous course. Plus its in Pasadena, CA (Hollywood, beach, great food and everything else the nightlife has to offer). I chickened out on the very last minute and now I shall live to regret.=) Advice: Stay the course. If you planned on applying, don’t think on it for too long. Just. Do. It.

Documents
Different schools have different requirements and documents that the want to see. They have specific deadlines for these documents, so don’t you dare bank on the chance that the school will be lenient on you. Because it’s not gonna happen! My advice is if you’re running out of time, send your documents first, then complete your online applications and statements. Why? Because documents take time to snail mail, while online applications can be submitted on the last night. Don’t submit your application on the last minute either. Chances are the school server will be in a bottleneck and your application will have difficulty being submitted through the web. Some documents (test results, official transcripts) are required to be sent by the institution/school, so send them what they want.

Make up your mind.
I should have spent more time researching schools and their strong points instead of following the crowd and applying for schools because a friend of a friend did the same. I should have had a master plan, a ranking system for the schools that I should apply to. Some factors to consider include reputation and ranking, quality of education provided, research opportunities, proximity to industries related to the major, accessibility, environment eg. if its urban/suburban/ulu, proximity to nature parks, seas, lakes, recreational areas, hardware/clothing/food stores, climate/weather. This is so that when you’re accepted to multiple schools, you won’t be faced with the dilemma of WHERE YOU SHOULD GO.

Subscribing to US News’ prime account ranking database should help. They even have organizer where you can organize your schools of your choice. I made something like “Top top elite everests”, “west coast parties”, “Midwest so cold they build character” and “spare tires”. Anyhoo. Since I’ve found out that the everests don’t want me in, should I go to the midwest to build my character or party in the west coast?

Getting out of my procrastinating, self-beating habit has been a struggle so far. Some days I can be proud of myself, some days I go back to doing useless indulgences such as netflix and rss reading.

But I’m well on my way. I’ll get there.

I am doing this again, am I not? Back in this cycle of self-absorbed self-righteous self-benefiting self-conscious self. I feel all tired, useless, dirty and confused inside. And there’s a familiar tinge to it too. Like how I felt last Christmas, or last summer in Cirebon, or the many times before. So predictable I’m beginning to accept this as an inevitable phase of life.

Looks like I need to spend more of my Spring vacation reading self-help books, doing yoga meditations and taking everything SLOW.

1. The world is full of people who are full of shit.
2. Being self-centered is considered a virtue in many cultures.
3. Girls are really, really from Venus. Men like us can only try to have them figured out.
4. Work never ends. Deal with it.
5. Life is too short to not have fun. Its also too precious to throw away. There’s a difference.
6. The past and the future are better left seperated from the present.
7. Loneliness makes you age, so keep your friends close.
8. Romantic relationships are more like ballroom dancing, 2 steps forward, 2 steps backward, repeat.
9. Humility is the root of all virtues. Ignorance is the root of all downfall.
10. Information is power. Use it against others, at will.

edit: I think its only appropriate that I do some sort of resolution for my 20th birthday. (even though I’ll abandon it first thing in 2 months or so…)

My birthday was great. GREAT. Had lunch with Andy and Polly on Friday, followed by supper with Angie (same time hiding from any possible birthday pranks). She’s got a sexy Civic. Heck, it still smell of leather. But I cannot say that she’s a great driver. We got lost a few times, changed destinations a few times (from dinner to movies to karaoke to finally just a supper).

Next day’s lunch was with Will and Wilson. Gorged myself out with Thai food. Had a birthday cake for dinner. Nice job how they got so organized in coming when I’m napping in my room half naked. Nice job on asking Queen Koil along too. QB you’re welcome for the first cake. Hmm, would have been better if I was allowed to take the pictures instead. I’m good, ok…

Just finished a part of the work I’m supposed to be doing this weekend. Madness… This feels so much like the end of the quarter, with deadlines up my neck and lethargy up my ass. Pardon my French.

Tomorrow will be a 12h marathon of math, chemistry, chem lab and caffeine. Thank got for the Starbucks raincheck I got the other time. Edit: Turned ou to be a 12h marathon of sleeping before everything I planned took place.

Thank you all you well-wishers and you’ve come for the surprise. Photos here. Love, Su.

I’m having one of those days when I’m in Q4 my whole day, I don’t feel like doing anything and I’d rather stay in bed. I have many “what ifs” in my head and I don’t feel so good about the future. I’m self-reflecting on problems in the past, and the more I think the less of a good person I see myself as.

I need help. Whatever.

“That knowing is better than wandering.”

“That waking is better than sleeping.”

Oh the things poet do to hide away their dysfunctionality.

My chemistry has been on the brink of falling off the cliff. I just zero-ed my quiz last week, has been spending the whole weekend planning and trying to decipher the chapters, and I’m still back at the starting point.

I don’t know what my point is, but hey I don’t see the same problems with macroeconomics or accounting classes you know. Either business prerequisites are a joke, or I’m pursuing the wrong thing. I have another 2 quarters left in my college, transferring to a 4-year in another 6 months, and I’m not so sure of my direction. Am I screwed?

The past week has been so trying. I got out of my comfort zone, try to quit this and that, break this addiction and that… try to eat healthy, try to exercise, try to keep up with classes, try to be superman.

I think I should quit my job and do something chicken-soup-for-the-soul-y for Spring quarter.

That movie blew my mind away. In the middle of the movie I was shouting “Fuck!” and “Don’t do it!”. Mind you I was watching alone in my room.

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I have been surfing the web for the past 3 hours trying to find the universal answer that is uploading photos directly from Picasa to Flickr.

And I found answers. Plenty of answers. Stupid answers.

And I realize that I should feel blessed for being one of the few with common sense, one of the few who’d be contented by dragging and dropping photos instead of using gmail to send photos, or to hack your computer with Python and Uploader.py. What a load of nonsensical gibberish jargon.

Sometimes the smart thing to do is to stop looking for ways, and to just do them your own damn way.

ps: I just realized picasa keywords got carried over as tags and captions as descriptions. In the words of Borat’s, “very nice…!”

I am such a jerk. I am shaping myself to become the most anal of customers, and I am enjoying it.

Earlier today a group of us were watching a movie “Perfume”, and at a climax point the whole sound system in the theater just went dead. Mute. Silent movie! This went on for seconds before I had enough of it, found my calling, geared for my bitchy mode and bam! I stormed out of the theater, incessantly calling out “EXCUSE ME!” to an empty hallway.

Long story short, I convinced an employee that the sound was off for so long during the climax that I don’t see any more point in going on watching the movie. I said that as customer I deserve to enjoy a modern non-silent movie. I wanted refund. He refused, but politely invited me back inside the theater and if I would like some form of compensation, he can provide a movie pass for everyone inside. I told him that he better be here when the movie ends to give us some form of explanation.

So yes, everyone inside got their free movie pass valid for 8 months, one ticket’s worth. Had it been a bad day for me, I would have insisted on the refund. But I guess I can let them off this time… Caught me on a good day heh heh.

Yeah, I know, I’m retail and service industry’s biggest nightmare.