Dear F810 (Fleur)

Dear Fleur,

I haven’t written an open letter to you for some time. How’ve you been doing?

We have been through a lot of thick and thin together, babe. You came to my life when I was leaving Singapore for good, when my sister came and took over my first love, F700. My dad asked me to pick a new girl, so I chose you out of the many whores on the glass display. Time has passed and you’ve been blowing (my mind) me for as long as I can remember. You taught me many things I never knew I could do… you were naughty and seductive and you are mentoring and loving.

Now that I have grown up, and will all the grown up issues that I have, I thought of saying bye. You were not as mind-blowing as you were before. Or at least, my taste and standard has risen beyond what you can offer me. Yes, you were faithful. I had many great memories in my hard drive thanks to you. And I’m sorry I ran away with a new F10 when you were sick with cancerous overexposure, going through repair chemotherapy… And I wasn’t there for you other than paying the doctor.

Recently I just don’t think you fill my shoes anymore. You don’t arouse my spot like you do anymore, your battery run out fast, you fall asleep before I’m done, and you’ve been refusing my advances with “write error”. That is just rude. I am a man, Fleur… And I have my needs!

After I reformatted your memory card, you throw tantrums on me. You take 3s to load up. You clearly take your own sweet time and don’t show your respect to me anymore. You embarrass me in front of my friends. You hurt my ego.

I’m sending you to rehab, baby Fleur. Your memory is going back to newegg.com for replacement. I’m bringing extra battery viagra for you next time so you don’t sleep before I come again. And for all my needs, I’m having affairs with that F10 bitch again, y’happy now?

Besides, I won’t be staying for long. We won’t last. We’re not meant for each other. After all the hurt you’ve caused me, I don’t know if I want to go back there anymore. You beg me to stay baby, but I will still leave. It’s too late now. I’m through with your little girl tantrums. I’m done suppressing my frustrations. You are self-obsessed, controlling and you… You are a screwed up bitch, aren’t you?

I’m getting a DSLR. Bye, lost love.