Being optimistic

I’ve been ambushed right left front back bottom up for the past week.

I had Toefl test last week (which was hard, mind you), did my whole UC application wrongly (I did not put 0-4.0 as grading system, so the whole courses documentation was messed up), got back my graded research paper (which was really last minute and I got 260/400 for it, obigood), got backside screwed for my work-related oversight, made a fucked-up joke at work and paid for it, got 61/100 for my O. Chem paper (Yay, anyone?), got tons of work to do come winter break, more O. Chem homework overdue for 2 weeks now, got fined $10 for the periodical I did not return in time to the school library, got many more school applications looming ahead, and I haven’t exercised in weeks. Plus I’m still single.

I’m not going down to LA, and I’m not crossing over to NY either. I should really use the time to get my license done.

“Just Breathe…”

*****

Crashing on your bed t 10pm wishing that you can wake up fresh at 4am to finish up assignments, is a bad idea. I’m going back to sleep.

*****

Before that, I should really do something with my life. I don’t feel any self-confidence in myself anymore these days. Egoistic people like me need a lot of assurance, nice ego-stroking appreciation and uh, yeah I better get back my self-esteem first.

And maybe, just maybe, I should go to church. Kai brought me during summer, Dian recommended it, mom and 3rd aunt’s been hinting it to me, and Joce has left the atheist league for church too.

Is it lonely down here in hell, or what?