The things that make your life better

Note: I came up with this list of dodgy ways to improve your life back from I don’t know when. I was probably half-drunk doing it.

1. Learn how to mouse goofy (left handed)
   …Because you’ll still want to blog when you lose your right hand (for a right-handed) in an accident.
2. Learn how to swim
   …Because most of us don’t have Pamela’s or Carmen’s watermelons to keep us afloat in a shipwreck and such.
3. Learn to touch-type with at least 100 wpm
   … Because at least you’ll make a good self-secretary when everyone else’s retrenched.
4. Learn to do recreational stuff such as ice-skating, bowling and go-kart acceptably good
   … At least you’ll get to impress a few of the opposite sex.
5. Learn to do a handstand (and if your fitness is good enough, push ups whilst doing a hand stand)
   …Keep blood flowing to the brain and strong arms just in case you lose your feet in an accident.
6. Exercise 3 times a week, at least
   …Nuff’ said.
7. Eat a good balance of meat, veg and fruits
   … Same here.
8. Rid of all destructive habits such a procrastination, wanking and waking up late.
   … And partially its also about getting out of your comfort zone, man.
9. Take up Buddhism if you really need some enlightening.
   … Far better than Scientology, I’m tellin’ ya.