Sephia, a year later.

Today 7th August, 2005 (a year ago) happened to be the day Sephia and I officially got together. If we haven’t broken up 11 months ago, today would have been our first anniversary. As it turned out, time flies and hey, its been what - a year now?

I try my best not to sound cheesy here, but as far as I remember, the one week spent a year ago with Sephia was the single sweetest week of all the months I’ve been in Seattle. I’ll be honest here, when I first got together with Sephia, I was dead sure that she was “the one” for me. Closer friends of mine know well that I kid you not when it comes to me and relationships. They know that I don’t play around and I calculate every permutative-probabilities-everything perfectly in my head before I decide on dating someone, and that I’ll be really devoted to that special girl. I really thought that Sephia was the real deal.

We were only officially together for a week before I flew back to Indonesia for summer holidays while she stayed in Seattle because of classes and other commitments with her church and community services. That was followed by 3 weeks of a sour, deteriorating, long-distance, mis-communicated relationship before she collapsed from constant pressure, and we agreed to break up. With respect Sephia’s privacy, I wouldn’t go into too much details here, but the whole relationship included every bit of drama along the lines of:

• Good/close/best friends growing apart/shunning away
• Religious conflicts and stubborn virtues
• Matchmaking and pre-arranged marriage
• Blurry/biased prejudice
• Materialistic, tyrannical sister Vs. bf
• Blind obedience
• hypnotism
• Insanity
• Double standards
• Hypocrisy and blank promises
• Lies and deception
• Anonymous call and threatening SMS (guess who?)

Yes the whole list sounds surreal and exaggerated, but I feel that I have to say my piece, and hey, kid you I didn’t.

I am not writing this to rally support or gather a crowd or try some guerrilla warfare. No this is not a personal attack, and especially not a personal attack to my ex-girlfriend Sephia herself. In fact, I still care about Sephia. And if fate permits, I’d really love to still be her friend as I was before this happened. I am writing this post down because I feel that I am still not entirely at peace with myself. What happened a year back really impacted me in some ways and I really need to have a media where I can express myself and be in touch with the little bit of sanity left in me.

And the fact is, she disappeared off my sight the next quarter and I’ve heard that she had been missing classes. She even switched college for a quarter for an unknown reason. I sure hope that she haven’t been doing all that just to avoid seeing me eye-to-eye.

Things had really took a turn for the worst for Sephia and I. Salvaging the romantic relationship was out of question with so much distrust and ill-hearted emotions between us, and the next best thing I hoped for was to salvage the friendship between the both of us, and the one between us and the friends around us. That too was out of question, as proven a year later today.

The last time I heard, she is currently with someone else from the college she went to last Winter. From the bottom of my heart, I hope that she is truly happy with her life now.

Funny how relieved I am feeling right now that I have put all my thoughts across the table. I think I should be starting another chapter in my life now that I have gotten over all the unfortunate events last year.

Sephia, if you are still following my blog and if you are reading this, I just want you to know that I have already forgiven you some time ago, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me too. I am doing really fine, and even thought I have no idea of what you’ve been up to these days, I wish the best for you. Please continue to bring joy and light to those around you.

Sephia, good luck with your life. I should continue with mine now.